SCIENTIFIC FACTS ABOUT BEARS
THE COVERT URSINE OPERATIVE CODENAMED HANS BÄR WAS ONE OF THE MOST REVERED BEAR SPIES OF THE 2ND WORLD WAR
WHILE THE BEARS OF THE WORLD WERE NOT OFFICIALLY PART OF THE HUMAN CONFLICT THEY FELT IT NECESSARY TO STAY INFORMED ON THE HAPPENINGS OF THE HUMAN WORLD
IN A MAJOR MISUNDERSTANDING OF THE HUMAN LANGUAGES THE BEAR SPIES RETURNED TO THEIR MASTERS EXPLAINING THAT THE HUMANS HAD DECIDED TO DESTROY EACHOTHER OVER SOMETHING AS PETTY AS DIFFERENT OPINIONS ON JUICE
Source: iraffiruse
SPECTACLED BEARS ARE USUALLY THE FRIENDLIEST OF BEARS AND WILL OFTEN SIT WITH FRIENDS FOR HOURS LISTENING TO THEIR PROBLEMS AND TRYING TO HELP
MORE ENTERPRISING SPECTACLED BEARS HAVE REALIZED THAT THEY COULD MAKE A BUSINESS OUT OF THEIR INNATE LISTENING AND ADVICE CAPABILITIES AND HAVE BECOME THE URSINE WORLDS LEADING PSYCHIATRISTS
Source: giraffeinatree
HERE A BEAR PASSES OUT AT THE BAR OF HIS FAVORITE SALOON AFTER HAVING HAD ONE DRINK TOO MANY
BROWN BEARS ARE COMMONLY KNOWN TO BE THE BEARS WITH THE BIGGEST ALCOHOL PROBLEMS IN THE URSINE COMMUNITY BUT THIS DOES NOT BOTHER THEM AND ESPECIALLY NOT THE BLACK BEARS AS THEY ARE THE BIGGEST PRODUCERS OF MEAD AND HAVE BECOME LUDICROUSLY WEALTHY THANKS TO THE SLIGHTLY AMORAL ALCOHOL TRADE
Source: ozopanda
HERE SOME SUBURBAN BEARS ARE ATTEMPTING THEIR HAND AT CAMPING TO GET CLOSER TO THEIR ANCIENT FERAL ROOTS
AS IS OBVIOUS THE YOUNG ARE THOROUGHLY BORED BY THIS ACTIVITY AND THE PARENT IS NOT VERY GOOD AT FORAGING EVEN THOUGH THEY SWEAR THEIR GRANDPARENTS SHOWED THEM THE ANCIENT ARTS WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG
CAMPING AND RETURNING TO THEIR WILDER ROOTS HAS RECENTLY BECOME A POPULAR AND FASHIONABLE ACTIVITY AMONG THE BEAR COMMUNITY AS FAMOUS BEAR ARTISTS AND STARS HAVE HAD SO CALLED EYE OPENING JOURNEYS TO THEIR NATURE AND MADE ENTIRE URSINE NATIONS GET ON THE BANDWAGON
RUMOR EVEN HAS IT THAT THE SPACEBEAR COLONIES ON THE MOONS OF JUPITER HAVE STARTED SEEING AN UPSURGE IN ARTIFICIAL FORREST EXPERIENCE CENTERS FOR SPACEBEARS TO EXPERIENCE WHAT IS BEING CALLED THE AUTHENTIC EARTH EXPERIENCE
Source: lionstigersnbears
PANDAS ARE KNOWN AS THE MOST DELUSIONAL AND SUPERSTICIOUS OF THE BEARS AND TRULY BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE THE URSINE GODS CHOSEN KIND
THEY BELIEVE THAT LONG AGO THE DIVINE PERSONIFICATIONS OF YIN AND YANG COMBINED TO CREATE NOT ONLY PEACE AND STABILITY BUT A SPECIES TO PERSONIFY THESE NEW CONCEPTS AND THAT THIS SPECIES IS THE PANDA
THIS IS IN FACT ONLY PARTLY UNTRUE AS PANDAS ARE CONTRARY TO POPULAR HUMAN BELIEF A VERY NEW AND ARTIFICIAL SPECIES BORN OUT OF THE MOONBEARS GENETIC MANIPULATION AND CHIMAERA PROJECTS AND ARE AN EXPERIMENT THAT ESCAPED TO EARTH AND BEGAN THRIVING
THIS IS WHY PANDA SEXUAL RELATIONS ARE SO RARE AS THE GENE FOR LUST HAD BEEN PARTLY ERRADICATED IN THEM
Source: srauda
HERE A POLAR BEAR TOURIST GROUP GAZES WITH WONDER AT THE LAND AND WONDER IF THEY SHOULD CONSIDER BUYING A SUMMER HOME IN THE SOUTH
IN FACT EVERY YEAR FOR THE PAST FEW DECADES AN ESTIMATED FIFTY EIGHT PERCENT OF THE POLAR BEAR POPULATION HAS MADE THE FATEFUL DECISION OF PURCHASING SUMMER HOMES IN SUB ARCTIC REGIONS AND HAVE NOT REGRETTED THEIR DECISIONS
INCIDENTALLY THEY MAKE THESE PURCHASES WITH NEW HAZARDOUS MORGTAGES WHICH LEADING BEAR ECONOMISTS HAVE CALLED UNSUSTAINABLE AND HAVE SPECULATED A POSSIBLE BUBBLE SCENARIO BRINGING A TEMPORARY RECESSION TO THE POLAR ECONOMY WHEN IT POPS
THE POLAR ECONOMY CONSISTS MAINLY OF FISH AND MURDER
Source: faunafacts
RECENTLY SOME BEARS HAVE GROWN FOND OF THE HUMAN ART OF INTERPRETIVE DANCING AND HAVE TRIED TO BRING IT INTO THE BEAR ARTISTIC MAINSTREAM
MUCH LIKE THEIR HUMAN COUNTERPARTS BEAR INTERPRETIVE DANCERS MAINLY DO INCOHERENT AND SPASM LIKE MOVEMENTS TO HORRIBLE WAILING SOUNDS AND TRY TO PASS IT OFF AS DEEP AND ARTISTIC
AGAIN MUCH LIKE THEIR HUMAN COUNTERPARTS THEY DO NOT SUCCEED
Source: lifeonmars13
AN URSINE ARISTOCRAT IS SHOWN HERE CASUALLY RELAXING IN HIS VILLAS SWIMMING POOL
BEARS ARE IN FACT VERY FOND OF BOTH HOUSES AND SWIMMING POOLS AND PRIVILEGED ONES USUALLY OWN BOTH BUT TAKE GREAT CARE IN HIDING THEM FROM HUMANS SO AS TO AVOID UNWANTED ATTENTION
THIS IS USUALLY DONE BY MANIPULATING TIME SPACE AND PLENTY OF OTHER ADVANCED SCIENCE THAT I AM NOT ALLOWED TO MENTION AT THIS POINT BUT NEEDLESS TO SAY THAT BEARS AND THEIR HOUSES ARE EVERYWHERE AROUND US YET WE WILL NEVER SEE THEM
PERHAPS YOU ARE STANDING ON THE SITE OF ONE RIGHT NOW BUT DUE TO THE GLORY OF THE BEARISH SCIENTIFIC MIND YOU WILL NEVER SEE IT NEVER FEEL IT OR NEVER REALIZE IT
INCIDENTALLY SOME JUNIOR BEAR PHYSICISTS LAUGH HEARTILY AT CURRENT HUMAN ADVANCEMENT AND CALL THEIR QUEST FOR THINGS SUCH AS THE HIGGS BOSON CUTE AND ENDEARING LIKE A CHILD TRYING TO EXPLAIN THEIR WAY OUT OF A MESS
Source: somewhateloquent
THIS IS IN FACT UNTRUE IN MOST PART AND ONLY APPLIES TO THE BEAR GHETTOS OF SOUTHERN CANADA WHERE BEARS ACTUALLY HIBERNATE AND STILL RESORT TO SUCH OVERT SIGNS OF BARBARITY
EVERYWHERE ELSE BEARS MERELY FEIGN HIBERNATION AND INSTEAD TRAIN IN THE NOBLE ART OF YUUDOU IN THEIR UNDERGROUND LAIRS WHICH FOOLISH HUMANS JUST BELIEVE TO BE SIMPLE HIBERNATION DENS
INCIDENTALLY WHEN BEARS HAVE TO RESORT TO MELEE WEAPONRY THEY PREFER THE FAR MORE MODERN AND EFFICIENT CHAINSAW
MOONBEARS USE PLASMA SWORDS
YES THEY ARE REAL
Source: thedorseyshawexperience
IT IS A LITTLE KNOWN FACT THAT THE MOONBEARS HAVE HAD AMBASSADORS AT NASA SINCE ITS VERY INCEPTION AND ORIGINALLY GRACIOUSLY IMPARTED THE ENGINEERS AT NASA WITH SOME OF THEIR KNOWLEDGE ABOUT SPACESUITS
HOWEVER THE KNOWLEDGE THAT NASA HAS BEEN USING FOR ITS MOST CUTTING EDGE SPACESUITS WAS IN FACT ARCHAIC IN MOONBEAR STANDARDS AS THE TYPE OF SPACESUITS WORN BY THE ORIGINAL MOONBEAR AMBASSADORS WERE FROM THE MID 19TH CENTURY
MOONBEARS HAVE SINCE ADVANCED SO FAR IN THE FIELD OF SPACESUIT DESIGN THAT THEY ARE ABLE TO SUPPLY BEAR MERCHANTS TRAVELLING FROM PLANET TO PLANET A PILL WHICH CREATES A PROTECTIVE FORCE FIELD AROUND THEM
(via themortalyeti)
Source: creasedcomics.com
